Meditation Script

INTRODUCTION: Track 1

Hello, I’m Jeanne Segal, author of the Bring Your Life into Balance toolkit that includes this Ride the Wild Horse mindfulness meditation. The purpose of the toolkit is to help resolve health challenges by teaching you skills for bringing overwhelming stress and emotions into balance.

The purpose of this meditation is to help you stay present in the moment - consistently relaxed, alert, and connected to what you feel - as well as think. Learning this mindfulness meditation can help you overcome: depression, anxiety, trauma and strengthen your ability to connect and relate to others in meaningful, satisfying ways.

The social, emotional and health benefits of staying in the moment and in touch with what you feel are well documented. But like many good practices, when we're stressed, tired and emotionally overwhelmed, we forget to use them. Mindfulness to be most effective is a reflexive habit –not just a means of relaxation. Moment -to- moment awareness is a way of paying meaningful attention -not only to ourselves- though this is very important- but to others as well.

To ensure that this meditation becomes a practice you remember when you most need it, the process includes training to help you overcome the emotional challenges, that can block mindfulness. When confronted by painful or frightening emotions, people often lose their ability remain self aware or sensitive to others. That's why an important part of this practice is to learn how to bring uncomfortable emotional experience into balance -including feelings that you may have numbed or avoided for many years.

Many of us, usually when we’re young, and for a variety of reasons, teach ourselves to numb and deaden our feelings, to only think about, rather than fully experience them. Distorting or turning off emotional awareness is a relatively easy thing for most of us to do. We simply tighten our muscles and hold our breath. And by deadening our bodies in this way, we bury emotions that cause us pain or discomfort. Therefore, it’s by focusing on the physical and emotional sensations in our bodies that we are able to recover these emotions and become mindful.

Adults have options and opportunities that make it unnecessary to deny our feelings. Doing so limits our ability to recognize critical signals - including knowledge that we are physically unwell, exhausted, lonely or in need of comfort and understanding. Moreover, by habitually blocking uncomfortable emotions, we also block the good feelings of pleasure and joy that make life -with all its challenges - worthwhile.

If you're someone who fears the outcome of intense emotions, understand that learning to mindfully experience strong feelings like anger, actually gives you the ability to contain your emotions and control your behavior.

This beginning section of Ride the Wild Horse, and the advanced section, include introductions that summarize key points in the toolkit. You may want to skip these tracks after the first or second listening. The meditation in both the beginning and advanced sections includes two parts. The first is a relaxation meditation that helps you relax and wake up feeling sensations in your body. This is followed by a emotional awareness meditation that teaches you how to practice mindfulness as a way of life.

But before you begin, you must be able to quickly manage stress in the moment as described in the toolkit articles quick stress relief and stress busting detective. Learning to quickly manage stress will ensure that you remain safely in control while you learn to tolerate a wide range of emotional experience.

Set the stage for learning to ride the wild horse by creating a safe private space–a space that feels pleasant and is energizing and where you won’t be disturbed or interrupted. Select a chair that supports a straight back, put a do not disturb sign on the door, turn off your phone, i-phone or pager. Lock the door if you need to. Carefully select and include sensory props to look at, smell, touch, taste or feel that instantly calm and make you feel good. Sit in a rocking chair if movement calms and soothes you.

The beginning meditation track lasts about 25 minutes. Ending the meditation in a timely way is very important, so make sure that when I tell you to stop, you stop meditating and refocus your attention.

If you find the emotional awareness part of the meditation uncomfortably long at first, spend less time on it but practice more often - ending by opening your eyes, standing up and shaking your hands and arms.

You should remain alert throughout the process, so don’t drink alcohol, smoke, or dull yourself in any way. Choose a time of day when you are wide-awake. After a big meal or when you are sleepy is not good time.

Next, continue riding the wild horse by choosing either meditation track 2 - with my voice - or meditation track 3- with a male voice.

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MEDITATIONS: Relaxation and emotional awareness - Track 2 (female voice), Track 3 (male voice)

You are now ready to begin the relaxation part of the meditation.

Let’s begin by exploring your breathing. Are you a person who breathes fully and deeply? To check this out put one hand on your stomach, and the other on your chest and take a deep breath now. How much does each hand move? Is it at least an inch? If your hands move only a little, or barely at all, don’t be surprised, or disappointed in yourself. Most adults have become shallow breathers, simply because we don’t take the time to notice how we breathe, or how this affects us. If you continue to pay attention, your breathing will progressively deepen over time.

Now, relax your body, and continue to breathe fully and deeply. Clear your mind of all thoughts and set off with the intention of moving slowly and easily through this meditative relaxation process. We communicate new intentions to our brain by moving very, very slowly. When we slow down, we make it possible for the brain to absorb new information and make lasting changes. Take off your shoes and loosen your belt. In order to help you relax and wake up feeling sensations in your body, this will be a process that intends to wake you up rather than put you to sleep. You're going to slowly tense, hold and then release and relax parts of your body- noticing the feeling sensations that occur when you do this.

Now slowly take several full deep breaths as you sink comfortably into the chair or the surface you are lying on. Focus on your right foot and ankle. Gradually lift up the toes of your right foot- hold- and let them go. Now gradually curl the toes of your right foot down, hold - and let go. As you continue breathing fully and deeply, notice the feeling sensations throughout your right foot and ankle including those in the toes, heal, and arch of your right foot.

Next, focus on the calf and thigh - of your right leg. Slowly squeeze your right calf and thigh muscles hold- and release. Continue breathing fully, deeply and slowly. As you inhale and exhale imagine your breath is going into the toes, foot, calf and thigh of your right leg. Experience all the feeling sensations in the muscles, skin and bones of your right foot and leg. Do you feel a difference between your two legs? The more you melt, relax and let go, the more feeling sensation you wake up.

Now focus now on your left foot and ankle. Gradually lift all the toes of your left foot up and hold - and let them go. Slowly curl your toes down, hold - and release. As you continue to breathe fully and deeply imagining your breath penetrating the muscles, bones and skin of your left foot and ankle- melting and relaxing as you wake up and experience all the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Next, focus on the calf and thigh of your left leg. Squeeze your calf and thigh muscles hold- and release breathing into the muscles, bones, and skin and waking up to all the feeling sensations in your left leg.

Continue to breathe fully, deeply and slowly. Imagining with each inhalation and exhalation that your breath is going into the toes, foot, calf and thigh of your left foot and leg relaxing and waking up all the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Next, focus on your buttocks, pelvis, stomach and lower back. Slowly tighten and squeeze your buttocks, pelvis, stomach and lower back-hold- and release. Imagine your breath is directed into these parts allowing your body to slowly melt, dissolve and let go- while you simultaneously wake up all the sensations in the organs, skin, bones and muscles in this part of your body.

Next, focus on your chest and upper back. Tighten the muscles in your chest and upper back -hold- and release. Directing your breath into the organs, bones, skin and muscles in this part of your body telling these parts to relax, melt and wake up.

Now, focus on your right hand. Slowly make a tight fist with the fingers and wrist of your right hand - hold - and release. Notice the sensations in the skin, muscles and bones of your wrist and the five fingers in your right hand. Breathing into the fingers of your hand and waking up the many feeling sensations in the bones and skin of your right hand.

Next focus on your right forearm and upper arm. Gradually tighten your right forearm and upper arm- hold - and release. Continuing to breathe deeply and experience sensations in the skin, bones and muscle of your right arm.

Now, focus on your left hand. Slowly make a tight fist with the fingers and wrist of your left hand-hold - and release. Notice all the feeling sensations in the skin, bones and muscle of all five fingers and wrist of your left hand.

Next focus on your left arm . Gradually tighten your left forearm arm and upper arm-hold - and release. Continuing to imagine your breath going into your left arm as you wake up sensations in the skin, bones and muscle in this part of your body.

Next focus on your neck and the back of your head and shoulders. Very gradually drop your head toward your chest -hold- and slowly lift your head up. Now slowly raise your shoulders toward your ears-hold - and let your shoulders drop. Imagine your breathe moving into your shoulders and neck as you melt and let go - experiencing the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Finally, gradually tense the back of your neck, head and face. Include your forehead, jaw and the many muscles around your eyes, nose and mouth hold - and melt or release.

Imagine your breath penetrating the muscles, skin and bones of your entire head and face awakening the feeling sensations in your neck, your head and every part of your face including your jaw, around your eyes and mouth - and throughout your entire body.

Continue breathing fully and deeply as you move into the emotional awareness part of this mindfulness meditation.

Emotional awareness meditation:

During the meditation that follows, you may experience a release of emotions: you may groan, tremble, speak or cry –but this isn’t a cause for alarm. Rather it’s an indication that you have broken through an area of blocked emotion. However, progress is usually far less dramatic, although no less effective. Emotional release can take place very quietly over hours, days or even months. The analogy here is that of a slowly healing wound. The more it heals the better you feel.

The image that I associate with this meditative process is that of taming a wild horse, hence the name, Ride the Wild Horse. Emotion like a bucking, rearing horse, can contain fear and unbridled energy. The only way to tame an emotion - to bring it into balance - is to stay with it and rein it in. If you start to feel uncomfortable, don't hesitate to open your eyes and use sensory input to quickly calm and center yourself before getting back on the horse by continuing with the meditation.

Continue your breathing. If you are feeling mild emotional distress, focus on these feelings for your point of departure. Or you can very briefly recall a recent experience, where you reacted with mild irritation. Perhaps you experienced some physical or emotional discomfort in an unthreatening situation, such as missing a bus or an easy putt on the golf course. Focus on the feeling sensations of mild distress . Allow yourself to experience and accept these sensations. If you start to feel uncomfortable, stop and bring your nervous system into balance before continuing.

Now, as you continue to breathe slowly and deeply, scan your body from head to toe or toe to head - whichever you prefer allowing yourself to experience your moment to moment physical and emotional sensations. Now scan your body for the exact place or part that holds the strongest feeling sensation. Perhaps it's your stomach, back, shoulders or jaw. When you locate this part, direct your breath into your moment - to moment experience of this place in your body. Allow yourself to fully feel the sensations it holds without thinking about it in any way. Continue to breathe deeply as you do this.

Your attention may wander but each time this happens, gently bring it back to the sensation in your body that you are focusing on. Be gentle, and patient with yourself even if you become distracted again and again.

If, as you approach a sensation, you go numb, experience the emptiness, let this feeling of emptiness become your focus of attention. Permit yourself to experience the emptiness.

You may find it helpful to imagine that as your breath goes in and out it carries the message :"permit the sensation " or "allow the sensation ". You may want to notice if the feeling seems familiar - if you felt this way before? If it's familiar, you may ask , How old is this sensation? Don’t analyze – just notice and immediately go back to focusing on your experience.

Again, if you begin to feel uncomfortable, open your eyes and use what you've learned about quick stress relief to calm and center yourself before continuing

Relax and continue to breathe fully and deeply, focusing on your body, experiencing the physical and emotional sensations that are there. Ride the experience until you hear my voice again.

(Just music for 7 minutes)

Now stand up, open your eyes wide, walk around a bit and shake your hands and arms. Focus on what I am saying to you rather than your feeling sensations. Notice that even if you are still aware of feeling sad, hurt or angry, colors are brighter, sounds clearer and you may feel more energized. Your more relaxed and alert.

Distressing emotions may stay with you for a while, but they won’t interfere with your life-provided that you don’t think about them. Making the shift from internal focus to an external focus is a very important part of the process. You were paying attention to your feelings, now pay attention to my voice. You won't have to stop feeling to do this, just stop focusing on what you're feeling. Go back to what you would normally be doing at this time. Spending more time paying exclusive attention to your emotions produces no additional benefit and is not helpful.

Don't' forget to talk to another person today or tomorrow about the experience you just had. This person can be a friend, acquaintance, family member – anyone who will listen to you with interest and without interrupting is a good choice. Face to face talk is necessary because it helps you retain what you have learned. For tips on how to find a good listener, refer to the toolkit article that describes the guidelines for this meditation.

In order for Ride the Wild Horse to really change your life, you'll need to practice consistently, for at least a month because it takes daily practice to change your brain enough to create a new habit.

It takes determination and courage to commit to a process of deep self-exploration. Take a moment to appreciate what you are doing and accomplishing.

In conclusion, I want to share a poem I wrote that helped me when I was learning to Ride the Wild Horse. I hope that you too find it useful. Its title is Finding Your Way

Know what you feel
Know what you want
Know what you need
Know what you do
... and grow wise.

End the judging,
End the punishing
End the dreading
End the numbing
... and grow free.

Allow the rage
Allow the grief
Allow the pain
Allow the fear
... and grow strong

Let it teach you
Let it help you
Let it heal you
Let it be
... and be restored.

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INTRODUCTION: Track 4

Hello again, this is Jeanne Segal. Practicing section 1 of Ride the Wild Horse may have left you with some questions. Let's review some of the more commonly asked questions.

You may have noticed changes taking place in your emotions during the meditation and are wondering about this. You may have begun with one feeling, but find that it shifts or dissolves into another. Or the source of the feeling moves to a different area in your body. Feeling can transform in an instant. Rage can become sadness, sadness can give way to rage or dissolve into fear -or joy! If you have this experience, focus on the strongest feeling sensation.

If your focus on a feeling sensation begins to feel draining, the loss of energy is your signal that you’re numbing or refusing to move on, or go deeper. You should experience an increase in energy, even with sad feelings.

Occasionally people with very serious trauma issues find that focusing on physical and emotional sensations in their bodies, even for short periods of time, is awkward, because they continually have to cut short the process and use quick stress relief. If this is your experience, you would probably benefit from working with a trauma specialist who can help you slow your emotional responses. An alternative would be to continue to practice the meditation - but for several short periods of time - say for three or four minutes each - several times during the day.

Perhaps you’re having great difficulty stopping the flow of thoughts in your head. Sometimes exercising just before you begin meditating helps. The increases in heart rate and blood flow makes it easier to concentrate on what your experiencing in your body.

A question often asked is can I write about my experience in a journal instead of talking to someone? It's not advised, because face-to-face contact with another person affects memory and retention differently than writing. Check the toolkit article about learning and practicing the meditation for tips on how to find a good listener.

People who regularly do the meditation and pay attention to the quality of their lives wonder how it's possible to feel so much better- when many of their problems continue to exist? This happens because by allowing ourselves to feel painful and difficult emotions, we also open a door to deeper more penetrating feelings of joy, playfulness and satisfaction that remind us -even when we feel bad- life can still be beautiful and good.

Emotional awareness also makes relating to others much easier. The ability to connect with your own emotional sensations strengthens your capacity to read, understand, sympathize and relate to others. Emotion is expressed in nonverbal cues that you'll be able to more accurately interpret. The ability to tolerate stress, and laugh more will also give you a leg up when it comes to resolving conflicts.

Now, moving on to the advanced portion of Ride the Wild Horse that focuses longer on stronger emotional sensations -let me briefly remind you why emotions, that you've lost touch with, are important to experience: Many people shut down when they’re young because they don't have a choice - their youthful nervous system wasn't able to withstand painful or frightening emotions. Adults don't need to do this. We can learn to safely -- on our own - -manage emotional experience because a mature nervous system can balance emotional intensity - provided that you stop thinking about your emotions and instead, breathe deeply and focus on the emotional sensation in your body.

Repetitive thinking creates a barrier to the flow of emotions by re-stimulating painful memories. When you stoke your feelings with thoughts about them, you prolong painful or frightening emotions and diminish your ability to bring them into balance. Ride the wild horse teaches you that even when your emotions are not to your liking, you function better when you remain aware of them.

In preparation for the two part meditation that follows, let me summarize the steps you need to take in order to get ready to Ride the Wild Horse. First, create a safe space where you won't be disturbed or interrupted. Fill this space with sensory props that enable you to very quickly calm and sooth yourself. End promptly when your told to do so and remember, you'll be relying on all your faculties, so make sure they’re sharp and clear.

Next, continue riding the wild horse by choosing either meditation track 5 with my voice or meditation track 6 with a male voice.

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MEDITATION: Relaxation and emotional awareness : Track 5 (female voice) Track 6 (male voice)

Take off your shoes and loosen your belt. In order to help you relax and wake up feeling sensations in your body, this will be a process that intends to wake you up rather than put you to sleep. You're going to slowly tense, hold and then release and relax parts of your body.

Begin by slowly taking several full deep breaths sinking comfortably into the chair or the surface you are lying on.

Now, focus on your right foot and ankle. Gradually lift up the toes of your right foot-hold and let them go. Now gradually curl the toes of your right foot down- hold - and let go. As you continue breathing fully and deeply, notice the feeling sensations throughout your foot and ankle including those in the toes, heal and arch of your right foot .

Next, focus on the calf and thigh of your right leg. Slowly squeeze your right calf and thigh muscles - hold- and release. Continue breathing fully, deeply and slowly. As you inhale and exhale imagine your breath is going into the toes, foot, calf and thigh of your right leg. Experience all the feeling sensations in the muscles, skin and bones of your right foot and leg. Do you feel a difference between your two legs? The more you melt, relax and let go, the more feeling sensation you wake up.

Now focus now on your left foot and ankle. Gradually lift all the toes of your left foot up and hold - and let them go. Slowly curl your toes down - hold- and release. As you continue to breathe fully and deeply, imagining your breath penetrating the muscles, bones and skin of your left foot and ankle - melting and relaxing as you wake up and experience all the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Next, focus on the calf and thigh of your left leg. Squeeze your calf and thigh muscles-hold- and release breathing into the muscles, bones and skin, and waking up to all the feeling sensations in your left leg.

Continue to breathe fully, deeply and slowly. Imagining with each inhalation and exhalation that your breath is going into the toes, calf and thigh of your left foot and leg relaxing and waking up all the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Next, focus on your buttocks, pelvis, stomach and lower back. Slowly tighten and squeeze your buttocks, pelvis, stomach and lower back- hold- and release. Imagine your breath is directed into these parts allowing your body to slowly melt, dissolve and let go, while you simultaneously wake up all the sensations in the organs, skin, bones and muscles in this part of your body.

Next ,focus on your chest and upper back. Tighten the muscles in your chest and upper back - hold- and release. Directing your breath into the organs, bones , skin and muscles in this part of your body. Telling these parts to relax, melt and wake up.

Now, focus on your right hand. Slowly make a tight fist with the fingers and wrist of your right hand -hold - and release. Notice the sensations in the skin, muscles and bones of your wrist and the five fingers in your right hand. Breathing into the fingers of your hand and waking up the many feeling sensations in the bones and skin of your right hand.

Next focus on your right forearm and upper arm. Gradually tighten your right forearm and upper arm- hold - and release. Continuing to breathe deeply and experience sensations in the skin, bones and muscle of your right arm.

Now, focus on your left hand. Slowly make a tight fist with the fingers and wrist of your left hand-hold - and release. Notice all the feeling sensations in the skin, bones and muscle of all five fingers and wrist of your left hand.

Next focus on your left arm. Gradually tighten your left forearm arm and upper arm-hold - and release. Continuing to imagine your breath going into your left arm as you wake up sensations in the skin, bones and muscle in this part of your body.

Next focus on your neck and the back of your head and shoulders. Very gradually drop your head toward your chest - hold- and slowly lift your head up. Now slowly raise your shoulders toward your ears- hold - and let your shoulders drop. Imagine your breathe moving into your shoulders and neck as you melt and let go - experiencing the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Finally, gradually tense the back of your neck, head and face. Include your forehead, jaw and the many muscles around your eyes, nose and mouth - hold - and melt or release.

Imagine your breath penetrating the muscles, skin and bones of your entire head and face awakening the feeling sensations in your neck your head and every part of your face including your jaw, around your eyes and mouth - and throughout your entire body.

Continue to relax and breathe fully and deeply as you move into the advanced emotional awareness part of this mindfulness meditation.

Emotional awareness meditation:

Now clear your mind as you continue taking full deep breaths. If you are currently experiencing an uncomfortable emotional sensation– use it as your point of departure. Or you may recall a recent experience where you reacted with surprising or inappropriate intensity. Scan your body, and observe the part that houses the most intense feeling. Perhaps it’s your stomach, back, shoulders, or jaw. When you locate this sensation, give your full moment -to- moment attention to the feeling sensations in this part of your body.

Focus on your moment-to- moment experience and imagine that as you breath in and out your breath flows to this area- allowing the feeling sensation to intensify. During the meditation that follows, you may experience a release of emotions: you may groan, tremble, speak or cry –but this isn’t a cause for alarm. Rather it’s an indication that you have broken through an area of blocked emotion. However, progress is usually far less dramatic, although no less effective. Emotional release can take place very quietly over hours, days or even months. The analogy here is that of a slowly healing wound. The more it heals, the better you feel.

Whenever you need to regain more control over your experience, return to focusing on your breathing and practice the sensory techniques of quick stress relief until you once again feel safely in control.

In this more advanced meditation process, you may experience more intense or disturbing emotions than you did in the beginning meditation. Allow yourself to experience the emotional intensity knowing that if you refrain from thinking about what you feel, you can ride the feeling sensation safely in control. Follow the feeling sensation wherever it goes - provided its intensity remains strong as you allow yourself to explore your emotions at deeper and deeper levels.

If you can't identify a feeling sensation in a particular part of your body, treat your experience of not feeling – of emptiness – as your point of departure directing your breath to the sensation of emptiness. Noticing if there is a part in your body that houses the core of this emptiness giving it your full attention. Continue your deep relaxed breathing and focus on your moment- to- moment feeling experience until you hear my voice again.

(Just music for 14 minutes)

Open your eyes wide now, stand up, stretch, shake your hands and walk around a bit. Stop focusing on your feelings and instead direct your attention to my voice. Don’t numb your emotions but stop concentrating on them. Wash your face with cold water if you need to. Avoid replacing your feelings with thoughts about them.

Making the shift from internal focus to external focus is a very important part of the process. You are learning that you can experience emotions- even strong ones - and get on with your life. By bringing numbed, distorted and stuck emotions into focus, inappropriate, protective behaviors, that support not knowing, lose their function.

The intensity that may have been evoked while doing this exercise is the result of tapping into emotions that may have been concealed for a long time. A current problem may have triggered them, but like the tip of the iceberg, most of the mass is below the surface. By staying calm in the face of emotional intensity, by breathing steadily while experiencing the physical sensations in your body and by acknowledging your emotions, you bring yourself into balance.

The more you work with this process, the easier it will be. But you will need to practice consistently for a least a month to begin integrating the process. In addition, talking about what you've experienced and learned will help you further integrate the process. The more consistency and determination you bring to the meditation, the more it will reward you. Eventually, you will be confident enough to permit your emotions to be perceived at any time- secure in the knowledge that you can appropriately experience and act on them. In ending, here again is the poem that helped me Ride my Wild Horse. Its title again is Finding Your Way:

Know what you feel
Know what you want
Know what you need
Know what you do
... and grow wise.

End the judging
End the punishing
End the dreading
End the numbing
... and grow free.

Allow the rage
Allow the grief
Allow the pain
Allow the fear
... and grow strong.

Let it teach you
Let it help you
Let it heal you
Let it be
... and be restored.

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