Self-Help for Adult ADD / ADHD

Living with adult ADD / ADHD

For adults with ADD / ADHD, life can be a frustrating merry-go-round of running late, not getting things done, sleeping at odd hours, and feeling like things are out of control. Due to the nature of the disorder, even routine chores and work activities can seem overwhelming. However, there are many skills you can learn to help get your life under control. It’s a challenge, but you can recognize your strengths and use them to develop skills to work better, increase organization, and interact with people more effectively. With the right skills and support, you can counteract the effects of ADD / ADHD.

Get the education and support you need

Adult ADD / ADHD is a newly understood disorder, so if you have it, you might feel that family and friends might not understand it too well. The more you learn about adult ADD/ADHD and treatment options, the better you’ll be at assisting your own recovery. Sharing information with friends and family can help them understand as well.  The first step is ensuring you have an accurate diagnosis. Make sure that you get a diagnosis from a qualified professional with experience in diagnosing ADD/ADHD. Adult ADD/ADHD can be a challenge to diagnose, as there is no simple test for it. Many symptoms of ADD/ADHD overlap with other conditions, such as depression, emotional trauma, or anxiety disorders such as obsessive compulsive disorder. What’s more, it’s not uncommon for someone with ADD/ADHD to have another condition such as depression or anxiety as well. If this is the case for you, those conditions need to be treated concurrently with your ADD / ADHD.

Developing healthy daily habits

While most people feel they could probably benefit from self care activities such as eating well and exercising regularly, with adult ADD / ADHD, it is especially critical. Due to the impulsivity and disorganization that often comes along with the disorder, you may struggle with erratic sleep, compulsive eating or extra stress due to missed deadlines and appointments.

• Minimize stress. With ADD / ADHD, where mood swings and trouble with organization is already a challenge, decreasing stress will increase your productivity and minimize symptoms. To learn more, visit Stress Management: How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress
• Improve your sleep. Simple changes to daytime habits, such as avoiding caffeine late in the day, having a predictable, quiet bedtime routine and going to bed at the same time every night goes a long way towards a good night’s sleep.  To learn more, visit Tips for Getting Better Sleep; Tips for Personal Sleeping Plan
• Healthy eating. Eating a wide variety of healthy foods and using caution with sugary foods can help stabilize mood swings from unhealthy eating. To learn more, visit  Healthy Eating: Tips for a Healthy Diet
• Exercising. Exercise is easier to fit into your routine than you think, and several 10 minute bursts each day can be just as effective. To learn more, visit Exercise Guide for Exercise Haters: Tolerate (or Enjoy) Exercise

Getting organized

If you have ADD / ADHD, you might not understand how some people seem to be so efficient at organization and managing time. It’s true some people seem to be naturally better at it than others, but organization and time management are skills that can be learned by everyone. Here are two tips to keep in mind as you begin to learn these skills:

• Start with simple steps and habits. With the impulsivity typical of ADD / ADHD, you might want to throw yourself headfirst into an organizing frenzy- a sure recipe for frustration and burnout. Good habits take time to develop. Just pick one or two key habits to start, and stick with only those for a few weeks. Then slowly build upon those steps to take back control of your daily schedule, household, and finances.
• Organization doesn’t happen overnight. If you expect your life to suddenly become organized and mess to disappear, you will be disappointed. You might have quite a backlog of paperwork or clutter to work through. Don’t try to tackle it all at once, or you might get so overwhelmed you give up before you even start. Organization is ongoing. As you learn new skills and build upon them, gradually your organization will improve. Daily good habits help stop clutter and disorganization from building again.

Starting a daily schedule and planner

A simple, daily schedule can be an enormous help in organizing your life. Start by finding the best planner or electronic organizer for you and commit to using it for all of your appointments, scheduling and contact information. Scraps of paper easily get buried or lost, and phone messages can be mistakenly deleted or hard to find.  

• Make a daily to-do list. Prioritize the items so you do the most important ones first. Keep the list with you and refer to it often.
• Review your schedule each morning. Before you start your day, take a look at your planner. Take an inventory of your appointments and the things you need to get done.
• Update your schedule every night. Establish a time every evening for reviewing what you got done and transferring new tasks and appointments into your day planner.

Managing paperwork

If you have ADD / ADHD, paperwork to you might mean piles of paper strewn everywhere. You might not want to throw anything away, because it is too important—but when you actually need a document it is impossible to find! If you take some time to set up a paperwork system that works for you, you can tremendously streamline handling paperwork in your life.

• Set up a filing system that works for you. Use dividers or separate file folders for different types of documents (such as medical records, receipts, and income statements). Label and categorize your files so that you can find what you need quickly.
• Deal with mail on a daily basis. Set aside a few minutes each day to deal with the mail. Either trash it, file it, or put it in an “action” folder.
• Have a dedicated time to deal with your “action” items. It might be just an hour every week to start, but as you have a set amount of time, you will find that dealing with action items takes less time than you think.  

Managing your time

Time can take on a fluid quality for those with Adult ADD / ADHD. Boring tasks might feel like they take forever, or you might get so absorbed in a diversion that suddenly you lose track of time and are late for an appointment.

• Give yourself more time than you think you need. For each 30 minutes of time you think it will take you to get someplace or complete a task, add 10 minutes. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Adults with ADD / ADHD tend to underestimate how long it will take to get things done. Check your schedule first before committing to something new.
• Plan to be early and set up reminders to leave. Try writing down appointments for 15 minutes earlier than they’re really going to be, or setting clocks and your watch several minutes ahead. Don’t let yourself lose track of time or get distracted. Use alarm clocks, online reminders or timers to tell you when it’s time to go.

Task management tips

Because people with ADD / ADHD often are impulsive and jump from one subject to another, completing tasks is often difficult. Big projects also might seem tough to tackle because of all the small steps needed to get to the end result. The following ideas can help you manage tasks.

• Build breathing space into your schedule. Give yourself space in between meetings and other appointments so you can gather your thoughts. If you find your attention wandering during a task, especially from something boring or repetitive, switch to something else for a few minutes. Or work with frequent built-in breaks, such as 30 minutes on, 5 minutes off.
• Slow and steady wins the race. Large projects are really made up of smaller tasks to get to the end result.  Break big tasks into a series of smaller ones. For example, the project of cleaning out and organizing the garage can be broken down into flattening cartons, putting up a shelf, organizing your tools, and so forth. Keep the big picture in mind. If you get stuck or fixated on a step, ask yourself if extra time on that step really matters for the end result.

Taking control of your finances and job performance

Track your finances

Money management requires budgeting, planning, and organization. So for many adults with ADD / ADHD, it is a particular point of weakness. Organizing skills, such as setting up a paperwork system and time for paying bills as described above, can help get bills in on time and avoid penalties for missed deadlines. Assessing your financial situation is the next step to getting budgeting under control.

Start by keeping track of every expense, no matter how small, for a month. Then analyze where your money is going. You may be surprised how much you’re spending on unnecessary items and impulse purchases. Using this “spending snapshot” to create a monthly budget based on your income and needs. Figure out what you can do to avoid straying from your budget. For example, if you’re spending too much at restaurants, make an eating-in plan and factor in time for grocery shopping and meal preparation.

Putting a Stop to Impulse Shopping

• Shop with cash. Leave your checkbook and credit cards at home.
• Cut up all but one credit card, and put it somewhere you can’t easily get to it.
• When you shop, make a list of what you need and stick to it.
• Use a calculator to keep a running total when shopping.
• Stay away from places where you’re likely to spend too much money.
• Throw away catalogs as they arrive.

Improving job performance

As you learn how ADD / ADHD affects you, you can bring that self-knowledge to the workplace or classroom. To start, determine what your best working conditions are. Are you most comfortable working or studying where it’s quiet, or can you concentrate better with background music or in an office buzzing with people and activity? Do you need to focus on one thing at a time, or are you at your best when multitasking? Figure out how you work best and arrange your environment accordingly.

Improving social skills and relationships

People with ADD / ADHD often misinterpret the verbal and nonverbal social cues that most people take for granted. They might interrupt conversations, often with irrelevant comments or questions. They let their attention wander, making it look as if they don’t consider what others are saying as important. Or they may talk on and on, not noticing that others are becoming bored or exasperated. As a result, people with ADD / ADHD are sometimes seen as rude, insensitive, and socially inept—qualities that take their toll on friendships and relationships, not to mention self-esteem. However, you can work on “retraining” your brain to better understand other people are communicating with their words, facial expressions, and body language.

• Be mindful.  Focus on the speaker and on what is being said as the most important information you need to hear right now. If necessary, check with the speaker to make sure you got the information right.
• Pace your conversation.  Pause after expressing each point in a conversation, and wait for a response before continuing to talk. Engage the listener, then listen carefully to the other person’s response.
• Practice, practice, practice.  Rehearse skills with a friend or support group, such as focusing on other people’s words and waiting for a response. Choose role models at work and in your personal life and watch how they communicate.
• Show your strengths. Becoming a good listener doesn’t mean you have to hide your knowledge, cleverness, or sense of humor. The idea is to be the smart, fun person you are without monopolizing the conversation.

To learn more, see Relationship Help: Building Great Relationships Using Emotional Intelligence

Related articles

Related links: self-help for adult ADD / ADHD

ADD / ADHD Education and Support

Find Local CHADD Chapters- Searchable directory of support groups that focus on both children and adults with ADD/ADHD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

Adult ADD/ADHD Support Groups - Searchable directory of support groups across the United States (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) (Attention Deficit Disorder Association)

Adult ADD / ADHD Articles – Features articles on every aspect of adult ADD / ADHD, including time management, career and workplace issues, relationship problems, and coaching. (Attention Deficit Disorder Association)

ADHD Articles: Adults – Dozens of articles cover every issue, from the practical to the emotional, associated with adult ADD / ADHD. (Attention Deficit Disorder Resources)

Adult ADD: Time Management, Career & Relationships – Upbeat, practical advice for adults with. Includes articles on everything from cleaning your house to choosing treatments. (ADDitude)

Self-Help Tips for Adults with ADD / ADHD

Living with ADD / ADHD: A Lifespan Disorder — Brief articles for adults on organization and time management, workplace issues, money management, relationships and social interaction. (National Resource Center on ADD / ADHD)

Information for Adults with ADD (ADHD) – Covers many aspects of adult ADD / ADHD, including workplace issues, relationships, and physical health, with a special focus on women and ADD / ADHD. (ADDvance.com)

Managing Money – Practical and ADHD-specific tips on how to improve your money management. (National Resource Center on ADHD)

ADD in the workplace

Top Ten ADD Traps in the Workplace – Covers the top workplace stumbling blocks for people with ADD, and strategies for avoiding them. (Attention Deficit Disorder Association)

ADD at Work: Job Success with Adult ADD – Advice for getting organized and focused at work, and maximizing your effectives. (ADDitude)

Adult ADHD: 50 Tips on Management – A long list of helpful tips from the authors of Driven to Distraction, with ideas broken down into categories of understanding ADD / ADHD, improving work performance, and managing emotions. (Attention Deficit Disorder Resources)

Improving relationships and communication skills

Solutions for Intimacy Problems for Adults with ADHD – Advice for improving communication skills, including common differences between men and women in talking with each other. (Attention Deficit Disorder Association, Southern Region)

How Adult ADHD Affects Relationships: Strategies for Coping – Learn how ADHD can impact relationships and what you can to do mitigate the effects. (ADDConsults.com)

Joanna Saisan, MSW, Robert Segal M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., contributed to this article. Last modified in March 09.