Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is your ability to identify and manage your emotions to improve relationships, manage stress, make better decisions, and enhance your personal and social well-being. The four key attributes of emotional intelligence are self-management, self-awareness, social awareness, and relationship management. By strengthening these four areas, you can deepen your relationships, better identify and understand your emotional state, improve your mental health, and sharpen your decision-making.

Your IQ measures your ability to reason. However, a high IQ may not be enough to help you find career success or live a satisfying life. Just because a person has an impressive intellect, it doesn’t mean they can communicate clearly, manage their emotions, adapt to changing circumstances, or work well in a team. This is where emotional intelligence or EQ comes in. Emotional intelligence is necessary to build strong relationships, stay on top of stress, and find success in your personal and professional life. In fact, emotional intelligence matters so much that many employers now use EQ testing when hiring.

Emotional regulation is an important part of emotional intelligence and refers to your ability to manage your emotions in a healthy way. Most of us experience times when it feels like our emotions are spinning out of control. It may be difficult to control your temper, make rational decisions, or adapt to changing circumstances. You might act impulsively, behaving in ways that can be damaging to yourself, your goals, and your relationships. When you practice emotional regulation, however, you’re able to recognize when you’re stressed, angry, or feeling overwhelmed and take action to manage your emotions and soothe yourself in a healthy way.

Empathy is the ability to see the world from another person’s perspective and feel their emotions. Empathy enables you to fully appreciate why someone feels the way they do. It can foster more satisfying relationships, motivate you to improve the lives of people around you, and guide your decision-making. Unlike sympathy, empathy goes beyond simply acknowledging that another person is distressed and feeling sad for them. Empathy involves a genuine understanding of their feelings.

You can find examples of high emotional intelligence in all sorts of settings, including in the classroom and the workplace. A teacher with high emotional intelligence may identify nervous students and gently encourage them to participate in class. A cashier may use her emotional intelligence, particularly her empathy and communication skills, to calm an angry or upset customer. The same high emotional intelligence can also help her to manage her own stress and emotions in that situation, ensuring she doesn’t allow her frustrations to escalate the conflict.